Chapter Three I remember you
Back in London, I had just woken up. My head hurt, and I didn't remember anything that had happened after I had read that damned letter...
Looking at my surroundings, I sighed. It wasn't hard to guess what I had done: My room was a mess. What had once been the bed was now but a heap of shreds of silk bedding and splintered wood, with some feathers among them. The wardrobe was lying in pieces, and the torn remains of my clothes were scattered across the room.
Suddenly, I felt anxious. If I had destroyed everything, did that mean... Sebastian's letter, too, was...
I frantically began digging through the pile of trash that had once been furniture, frantically searching. My throat felt constricted and I found it hard to breathe. I felt like there was an ice cold hand reaching into my chest and slowly clenching around my heart, and I was suffocating...
And then, finally, I found it.
Sebastian's letter was unharmed.
I exhaled slowly, then I shook my head, mentally scolding myself. 'Suffocating'? It wasn't like I needed to breathe, being a demon and all, and when had I started caring about that stupid, offensive letter in the first place? Really, it would be best if I just ripped it to pieces, or burnt it, so I would never have to look at it again.
After a moment of hesitation, I folded it and slipped it into my pocket.
I could still destroy it later, right?
"Do you need any help?"
I sighed. "No thanks. I'll be fine. Can you go ahead and get the car ready?"
I mentally slapped myself. He didn't have to 'get the car ready'. It already was 'ready', and we'd just have to get in and go.
Thomas, my driver, smiled at me. "Okay. Just call me if you change your mind"
And with that, I returned to looking for something to wear that wasn't completely torn. I really shouldn't have gone berserk like that... but what bugged me even more than that was the fact that Sebastian could have fixed this mess in the blink of an eye while I was absolutely clueless as to how.
Deciding that I wouldn't find anything here, I began searching the other rooms and eventually found a box with clothes in the attic. I opened it and smiled slightly. I hadn't even outgrown them! Well, I shouldn't have. Those had been tailored for the season in the same year that I had become a demon, and I hadn't grown since then...
It took me a while, but I managed to dress myself. Nowadays' clothes were a lot easier to wear, really. Anyway, once dressed, I went outside to meet Thomas at the car.
He tried to hide his smile when he saw me.
"I didn't know we were going anywhere fancy"
"We're not", I replied. "But that was all I could find. We'll have to... go shopping later, I guess. Or you do the shopping, I don't really care for it. Anyway, until then, we'll both have to endure this. I can't help it"
"I didn't mean to offend you", he quickly said. "It's just that I haven't seen you in that kind of clothing before it suits you, really. It's cute"
I huffed and got in to the car.
"To the graveyard... please"
"As you wish", Thomas sighed, then he got into the car as well.
We both remained silent during the ride to the graveyard, and once we were there, I told him to wait in the car. Then I left.
The first grave I went to see was my parents'. It was well-kept perhaps a pay rise for the gardener was in order.
EARL VINCENT PHANTOMHIVE
COUNTESS RACHEL PHANTOMHIVE
And, a bit below that,
EARL CIEL PHANTOMHIVE
Elisabeth had had that one added. On my fifteenth birthday, she had given up on me.
Talking about Elisabeth...
LADY ELIZABETH ETHEL CORDELIA MIDFORD
...only a few days after my name had been added to my parents' tombstone, Elisabeth and I had had a deadly encounter. Well, deadly for her. She had been overjoyed to see me standing before her in her bedroom, had given me her soul almost willingly...
PRINCE SOMA ASMAN KADAR
Those two had, ironically, died on their way to the graveyard. After Lizzie had died, Soma and Agni had taken care of her and my graves and then, on that fateful day... Soma, careless as always, had run onto the street, oblivious to the cars that were rapidly approaching. Agni, in a last, futile attempt to save his Prince, had thrown himself in front of him. They had died together, in each other's arms, and that actually made me a little jealous. To be able to die in your beloved's arms...
What was I thinking again? I shouldn't fantasize about that kind of thing. And really, whose arms would I want to die in? Sebastian's? Our relationship wasn't, and had never been, even similar to the bond that had connected Soma and Agni.
...Maybe the souls I consumed were having some influence on my mind and I was turning into a pea-brained, love-sick schoolgirl.
Tanaka, unable to cope with the loss of yet another master, had hanged himself. Mey-Rin, Bard and Finny had died in an accident. There seemed to have been a gas leak in the kitchen... well, I doubted that it had really been an accident.
Even after all these years, visiting their graves made me feel sad and lonely. They had all died among their friends or lovers, and they had all been happy when they had died. Why couldn't I be that lucky? I had to spend eternity all by myself. Really, why hadn't Sebastian just taken my soul when he'd had the chance?
I returned to the car, mentally slapping myself. Really, I had never been a very emotional person, and there was no need to start it now, especially when the people concerned were already dead.
Ah, I was such a fool...